30th DECEMBER 2005

Okay, I admit there are times I claim to be annoyed when, truth be told, I'm fairly bursting with ennui. But, this time, it's different. And "annoyed" doesn't even begin to cover it. Take a good look at what the Crappe Faerie left in my inbox, this morning:

What should your last political act of 2005 be about? It should be about fighting back - about laying down a marker that says we've seen enough, heard enough, and seen the Republicans who control Washington try to mislead America more than enough. And, in 2006, we're coming to take our democracy back from the Washington special interests that control it today.

Awkward writing, but the sentiment is certainly clear. It continues:

When the Bush White House says one thing and does another, we'll call them out. When shadowy Republican front groups show up on the campaign trail, we'll smoke them out. When there are huge discrepancies between the successes they claim and the reality they've created, we'll point them out.

'Bout time! Tell me more...

And, most importantly on Election Day 2006, we'll vote them out.

Eh. Annoying. We never voted them in, and after Coup 2K, we did vote them out. Coup II, 'kay? Been there, done that [as it were]. So, if voting's all you've got...but, wait -- there's more!

We know what to expect. With their backs to the wall, the Bush White House, the Republican National Committee, and all their shadowy front groups are counting on skirting the truth, hiding the facts, and disguising their failures for one more election cycle. Will we let them get away with it? Not a chance.

Guess who. Harry Reid? Russ Feingold? The ghost of Paul Wellstone?

I look forward to working side by side with you every day of 2006 as we stand up for our candidates and fight for our beliefs. Let's refuse to yield an inch to a Republican Party unconcerned about stopping the corruption in its midst . . . unwilling to address the failures in its record . . . and unable to speak the truth to the American people.

Guess again.

Sincerely,
John Kerry

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  John Kerry? John Fucking Kerry? THE John Kerry, who conceded 2004 as evidence of potentially rampant fraud began pouring in from Ohio? The John Kerry who promised every vote would count and every vote would be counted [but who changed his mind and broke his promise when it was time to start counting]? The John Kerry who, as but the guardian of my vote, acted as the sole owner of my vote, and handed same to Bush as though it were a hot potato? THAT John Kerry dares ask me to believe any [let alone all] of the above?

That doesn't annoy me. It sickens me [though, you've got to admit, it's also pretty freakin' hilarious. I mean, really...the only thing funnier than the thought of John Kerry "fighting to win" an "election" would be the thought of his "refusing to yield an inch" to republicans (or "speaking truth" to the American people)]...Rb  [who will always believe and maintain that Kerry was a plant, he never intended to win in 2004, "the Powers That Be" removed Dean and -- with hardly a bleat from the sheeple -- inserted Colluding Kerry, whose job was to never pull so far ahead of Bush in the polls that the republicans couldn't steal another "election" without being as obvious as they'd been during the theft of 2000. Nice goin', John! You fooled some of The People (you annoying little fuck)...]

22nd DECEMBER 2005

There are those who believe I get my jollies from being the annoyance of the day. Next time an American, right or left, insists that "America is the greatest country in the world!" Rather than ask, "have you ever been to another country? or lived in another country?" or, "what is it that you think makes America 'the greatest country in the world?'" Ask [nicely, kindly, and in all sincerity], "what have you done to make America great?"

Almost every one of us, comparatively speaking, was "born on third base, think we hit a triple." We are Americans by accident of birth. Few of us must earn our places, here. Why do we feel the need to tell any and everyone who'll listen that we're "the greatest?" And we tend to say this with inordinate pride...as though we may take personal responsibility for much of this "greatestness" [the actuality of which seems never in question].

There is no "acceptable answer" to my question. Just as there is no "acceptable neurosis" [nor psychosis] which would excuse a constant need to be not only considered, but openly and regularly acknowledged as, "the greatest."

Which answers are most popular? "I'm a teacher." [That one's just plain scary. Education is hardly our strong suit, but even forgetting that sad state of affairs and pretending all things are equal]  Are teachers peculiar to America? "My cousin's in Iraq!" is another favorite, these days [the "logic" of which takes us back to the "education" part]. Surprisingly [not], the answer I hear most often is, "why do you always ask such weird questions?"

"Why do you always avoid answering my questions?" appears to get one nowhere, in the moment. But, still. It's worth a shot. And sometimes...sometimes...over time...it works. If done nicely, with kindness, and in all sincerity, one can even pull off such as:  What's the difference between God and an American? God doesn't think He's an American...

As a general rule, we humans resent having to actually Think about the things we say. We prefer to defend the "absolute Truth" of our [often woefully uninformed] opinions, rather than consider other possibilities, or even [especially?] facts, should other possibilities [and indisputable facts] refute the "absolute Truth" of our original opinions.

I swear on my mother's life [and, believe me, I could bury her] that the following is an almost verbatim transcript of a conversation forever burned into my brain. There is nothing unusual about the sentiment, but I'd never before heard it expressed so honestly and "innocently."

A few years ago, I had a client who, toward the end of a business conversation, said [completely out of left field, and in response to nothing but a moment of silence], "America is the most generous country in the world..."

"Well, the American people can, indeed, be very generous," I responded. [And because there ain't enough money in the world to keep me silent in the face of Disinformation] "But, as is fairly well-documented, we're actually pretty far down the list when compared to others."

"That's not true!" she cried ["you take it back!" implied].

"We don't need to argue about it, but. If you'd like, I can send you some statistics. I think we're something like 28th, this year, but we can check the facts and find out what it is, for sure."  [As the fates would have it, I was being an extraordinarily generous American.**]

"No," she insisted, angrily. "I do not want to see any of your facts and statistics. America is the most generous country in the world, that's my opinion, and that makes it valid!"

Does the mind not boggle? And those are the exact words of a [self-proclaimed] "highly educated professional!" [There's that "education" thing, again.] I can only hope that, in its own time, synchronicity orchestrated a gathering for her and a veritable plethora of facts and statistics; and that she is, today, a bit wiser [and more open to revision].

Making this one a two-fer: few things in life have annoyed me more or annoyed me longer than the general public's mindless invocation of "ignorance is bliss." I'm not at all surprised that the original is long-forgotten, however [for it "afflicts the comfortable"]: If you believe that, when ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise, you are indeed a fool.

So, yes. I freely admit that, when I find myself staring down the barrel of such bliss, I will [more often than not] choose to be -- nicely, kindly, and with all sincerity -- pretty damned annoying, I guess...Rb

**   USA’s aid, in terms of percentage of their GNP has almost always been lower than any other industrialized nation in the world, though paradoxically in the last four years, their dollar amount has been the highest. (Only in 2004 did they move up from last place by one.)