MANY A TRUTH
14th DECEMBER 2005 |
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Americans may seem to have taken a new path since 9/11, but only to those who haven't been paying attention. Encouraged to "move to Russia" practically since infancy, I submit that we're the same as we ever were. Just louder, and feeling less constrained...
As a fourth-grader (in the mid-'60s), I heard the following joke. The punchline horrified me...for a split second...until it hit me that the joke was us. Instantly, this perfect allegory became my favorite parable. Would that hilarity ensued. |
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AMERICA & THE TRAVELIN' MAN
Eager to embark upon the next leg of his journey, the Travelin' Man had crossed mountains and rivers to get this far. Now he would cross the desert.
Always looking for adventure, after speaking with a few locals the T-Man decided to make the crossing on camel-back. He was told he'd need a 20-gallon camel, and given directions to America, the town's most successful camel dealer.
The camel lot was an easy walk, and America hurried to the gate as he saw the Travelin' Man approach. "How may I help you? Might I put you on a camel, today?"
"Indeed, you may!" said the Travelin' Man. "I'm crossing the desert, and need a 20-gallon beast."
"You've come to the right place!" promised America. "Although I don't have a 20-gallon camel, I can make one for you. No problem, at all. It'll be ready in a jiffy."
"Well, wait a second. How does one 'make' a 20-gallon camel?" asked the Travelin' Man.
"It's easy! Come with me and I'll show you," beckoned America, and he led the Travelin' Man to a paddock. "These three, here, are 10-gallon camels. See one you like?"
"No, I need a 20-gallon camel," insisted the Travelin' Man.
"Don't worry! I'm gonna make you a 20-gallon camel. Just pick a camel you think you'll like," reassured America.
The Travelin' Man took a good, long look at each of the three camels, and chose the camel which seemed not only strongest, but best-natured. "This one. I like this one."
"Excellent choice," pronounced America. "Would've been mine, too, if I were crossing the desert. Now! Let's go make us a 20-gallon camel..."
America haltered the Travelin' Man's camel and the three of them walked toward a row of troughs. "This guy's on empty, so we're gonna need 10 gallons to fill him up and another 10 gallons to make him a 20-gallon camel. We'll use this tank, here."
The camel lowered his head and began to drink, the two men chatted, and, as the water-level dropped, America walked to a nearby shelf and retrieved two bricks, returning with one in each hand.
"What are those bricks for?" asked the Travelin' Man.
"You'll see. Watch this!" America moved to the rear of the camel, and, holding a brick in each hand, waited until the camel was almost finished drinking 10 gallons of water. As the camel was taking his last few gulps, America spread his arms wide, like an angel, and then ... BAM!! ... he slammed the bricks together, crushing the camel's balls. Face still in the water, the camel gasped and inhaled another 10 gallons.
"And there's your 20-gallon camel!" beamed America.
"Oh, my God," exclaimed the Travelin' Man. "Doesn't that hurt?!"
"Only when I get my fingers in the way!"
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